Draft 1001

Exposition One
Have you ever look at old diaries of your own? Even it’s just one year or two ago, you’re not very like you. The past you was another one person on earth that you shared one part of your memories with. It’s just so alienating. “Those were the days,” sometimes we might say, shamelessly nostalgic and cliché. Sometimes we flipped pass the pages, as if doing so that could deny the existence of that one part of you. But not very likely would we destroy our diaries. We put it sometimes between bitterness and happiness. We come back time to time to assure we did exist and are still alive.

So, this is that one part of me, on September 1st of my final high school’s year. “Queen of the Night” I wrote, as my final thing to do, before anything might happen. This was that part of me, wanted to be in spotlight, acting as if, however, I didn’t care. But I knew at that time, that year was my final chance. And now I know that was also critical. That’s that one moment in time that I’d remember.

And Chris was still there.


Exposition Two
“Hey dude, how’s everything?” asked Sam, my dearest friend since childhood.
“Fine,” I replied.
“Fine means the opposite. What’s it this time?”
“Nothing. I was…There’s nothing.”
“You dare not telling me? You know what, the last time I told even before Mike kissed me on the mouth!”
“Okay, I did it! Last night, I practiced and I think I can do it now!”
“That’s great! I’ve been waiting and pushing you for years! You finally…so…what the f- is wrong?”
“I didn’t say there’s a problem, did I?”
“Dude, you dare?” Sam was getting annoyed and usually I’d have surrendered but I didn’t.
“Hey, what’s that thing on your hair? It’s a bug!” I said.
“What? Damn!”

So Sam rushed to toilet and would find out there’s noting. Really nothing. By the time she’s back, I’d be gone.

Sam, I thought I know you too.


Exposition Three
Every so often, Sam and I would stand in front of mirror. She would practice her smiles.

“You know what’s so great about Julia Roberts?” She said.
“I think Meg Ryan is better.”
“Hell, Meg Ryan doesn’t have a smile! She laughs or she gives that expression! Bitchy.”
“Okay, so how’s Julia Roberts?”
“Her smile attracts every single cute guy on earth!”
“Does she?” I was curious now. “Maybe I should learn then.”
“You won’t! You do Meg Ryan’s face!”

Sam practiced smiles for guys. I stood in front of mirror to check the line on my cheek. That line which predicts success. Every time I see the line there, I feel safe and peaceful. And I’d hold on to it. Try to remember the muscles that made that smile. We shared the expression. Me and Meg Ryan. Smiles that Sam didn’t notice.


Climate A
“Deep breath. Rock the stage. Be calm. You feel superhuman.” I told myself and stepped on the stage. From that moment on, my mind was blank.

I could see. I somehow see the crowd. Boys and girls in clothes of different color. The jury was in front of me.

I could hear. I heard the noise coming from the everywhere. Then, came the music. Knew it’s my time now. The time to take a deep breath, to sing from the top of my head. Be the queen of the night. And so I opened my mouth but there’s no sound. So I knew what to do with the lowest of my self-esteem. I went back to backstage. I left and the music was still playing.


Climate B
“So this is what I saw that night, in the concert hall of the school. The crowd was so noisy that night, I tell you. But you couldn’t help. Blame them on stage. They really suck! So when it came to the final one, the crowd went even wilder. But for me, I treated him so a final hope to the night. I could tell from the song he chose.

Then he came to the stage. Like everyone else, he’s nerves. From his shaking legs, you could tell! When there came the music, all of a sudden he left the stage! You know what? I think that was a joke he made! You know his song? It’s ‘Diva!’”


Climate C
"I was there waiting for the final touch of the mark sheets from the jury. And he…he just stood there. He was like looking at something that existed in some other dimensions. When the music came he didn’t sing. Then I looked at the stage, he’s already leaving. I think the crowd was shocked. I heard a wave of silence and they started giggling again. But the jury didn’t. The mark sheets were ready right away!”


Resolution Final
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